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Imagine this: You’re in a grocery store parking lot and overhear two friends talking about someone they both know—someone who has made a serious mistake. One friend shakes his head and says, “It’s not my place to judge.” The other replies, “Well, if we don’t say anything, we’re just letting them ruin their life.”  Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do. Learn more in today’s message.

That little exchange captures a tension most of us have felt. As Christians, when do we speak up, and when do we stay silent?

Our faith calls us to love one another enough to help each other grow in holiness. That love sometimes requires us to address sin, not only in our own lives but also in the lives of others. The Bible calls this admonishing the sinner. In Christian tradition, it is one of the spiritual works of mercy.  Others include instructing the ignorant, counseling the doubtful, consoling the sorrowful, forgiving offenses, and bearing wrongs patiently.

Most of us, I think, find it difficult to admonish. It makes us feel uncomfortable. However, under certain circumstances, correction is not just a kind gesture, it can be a moral obligation. Jesus gave us a framework in Matthew 18:15: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.” Our first step is private, direct, and respectful protecting the person’s dignity while offering the best chance for them to receive our words.

Why is this so important? Because sin is not simply the breaking of a rule. It wounds the heart, harms relationships, damages the common good, and separates us from God. Grace reveals sin not to shame us, but to draw us to repentance and healing.

Even so, Jesus’ words in John 8:7 still echo: “Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone.” And His warning in Matthew 7:1 “Stop judging, that you may not be judged,” reminds us that we are never to condemn. Judgment in this negative sense declares someone hopeless or beyond redemption. That is God’s role, not ours. But admonishing is different. It is humbly correcting out of love, speaking as one sinner to another. It is easy to confuse admonishment for judging. They are quite different.

That’s why we must start with self-examination. Jesus tells us: “Remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:5). Before speaking to another, we must first seek God’s mercy for ourselves and approach with humility.

When the time comes to speak, tone matters as much as words. St. Paul writes: “If a person is caught in some transgression, you who are spiritual should correct that one in a gentle spirit” (Galatians 6:1). Gentleness is not weakness, it is truth delivered with compassion, making it easier for the other person to hear rather than resist.

Prayer should cover the entire process. We ask the Holy Spirit to prepare the person’s heart, guide our words, and reveal the right moment to speak. Sometimes God prompts immediate action; other times He tells us to wait until trust has grown and the heart is ready.

Relationships make the difference. People are far more open to correction from someone who has walked beside them in love. If they know we care, they may hear even hard truths. If all they have known from us is criticism, they will likely turn away.

Our aim is always restoration, never humiliation. Jesus modeled this with the woman caught in adultery: “Neither do I condemn you. Go, and from now on do not sin any more” (John 8:11). Mercy and truth met perfectly in that moment.

So going forward, we must avoid the arrogance of the stone-thrower, but we must also reject the passivity of indifference. Love sometimes requires hard conversations. Our calling is not to hurl stones but to carry crosses—walking alongside one another toward the One who carried His cross for us all.

Heavenly Father, Jesus taught us to live with both grace and truth. Teach us to speak truth without pride and to show mercy without compromise. Give us the courage to lovingly correct when needed, the humility to acknowledge our own sins, and the wisdom to know when to speak and when to be silent. May every word we speak be seasoned with love and may all our actions lead others closer to You. Amen.

AMDG 

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Brian Pusateri

Brian is a Christian author and speaker. Brian, a lifelong Catholic, felt his life was forever changed when God spoke to his heart while attending an eight day silent Christian retreat in November of 2011. Soon after that retreat Brian founded 4th Day Letters and Broken Door Ministries. With the God inspired message of mercy and unconditional love that was placed on his heart during that retreat, Brian has been impacting others all over the country and around the world with his weekly letters, his talks, and his all day Christian retreats. In June of 2014, Brian’s life was again impacted in a very dramatic way when his eyesight suddenly became permanently impaired. The initial diagnosis was Multiple Scleroses (MS) but in December of 2019 the diagnosis was corrected to MOG antibody disease, a rare neurological disease. This health challenge has only served to draw Brian closer to God and bolster the importance of this timely yet ageless message.

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