Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS

The U.S. National Park Service advises that, when encountering a charging brown bear, you should, stand your ground, wave your arms above your head, and speak calmly. Alaska’s Department of Natural Resources echoes this advice and adds, DO NOT RUN! In today’s message we will explore why all of these recommendations are bad advice for our spiritual life.

The goal in one of these encounters is to intimidate the bear, even when inside you’re terrified. The practice of trying to fool the bear provides fitting imagery and an accurate illustration of false bravado: projecting strength to ward off danger while feeling vulnerable inside. Unfortunately, people try to do the same thing around other people, they act strong when they are scared.

My wife and I live in the South Carolina mountains, and we have at least one bear in our yard nearly every week, at times every day. Sometimes we have momma and her three cubs. On occasion, I have encountered these bears up close and had to test these theories. Fortunately, my bear scaring, false bravado worked. If not I wouldn’t be writing this. (In the picture below, you can see one at my door, one on my porch and two on my yard.) I thought a bear metaphor would add a touch of humor and vivid imagery to today’s main point and hopefully reinforces the message in a memorable way.

What caused me to write a message on False Bravado? The other day an old song that I like came on the radio. It was the soft rock hit, Baby Come Back, by the music group Player from 1977. I have always marveled at a unique line of lyrics contained in their song. They sing:

“All day long, wearing a mask of false bravado,

Trying to keep up a smile that hides a tear.”

I’ve sung that lyric countless times. In addition to the melody, the words false bravado always drew my attention. It’s not something you typically hear in a song. In fact, I don’t think I’ve heard it in any song before or since. That phrase has always struck me.

Bravado is defined as a show of boldness intended to impress. False bravado, however, is that outward show of confidence we use to cover up fear, pain, or insecurity. It’s when we pretend to be strong, when deep down, we’re anything but. False bravado is the mask we use to scare a bear, but sadly, it’s also the mask we put on to keep others from seeing what’s really going on inside. And, let’s be honest, most of us have worn that mask at one time or another.

We go to church with it on. We show up at work with it on. We even walk through our own homes with it on. We smile when we want to cry. We say “I’m fine” when we’re drowning. We laugh off things that cut deep. Somewhere along the way, we’ve bought into the lie that to be loved, we must always appear strong. But that kind of pretending doesn’t lead to healing—it leads to hiding.

Psychologists warn us of the cost. Suppressing our struggles doesn’t make them disappear; it makes them grow. Anxiety, depression, emotional exhaustion, relational distance, even physical illness, can stem from the emotional strain of always acting okay. What we don’t express, we often end up internalizing. And that hidden weight becomes heavier over time.

Worse still, false bravado robs us of the help God wants to give us—help that so often comes through honest community and deep friendships. When we hide our pain, we also make it harder for others to share theirs. We unintentionally send the message: “There’s no room for weakness here.” That message silences others, just as it once silenced us.

But the truth is, vulnerability invites vulnerability. When we take off our mask and share what’s really going on, it creates a safe space for someone else to do the same. One honest moment can open the floodgates of grace in a room full of hurting people.

St. Paul understood this. He said, “I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9) That’s not shame. That’s strength. That’s trust in a Savior who meets us in the middle of our mess.

Jesus never scolded people for being broken. He embraced them. He wept with them. He healed them. He even showed His wounds after the Resurrection. And He still meets us today—not behind our masks, but through our honesty.

If you’ve been wearing a mask of false bravado, you’re not alone. But you don’t have to keep wearing it. You don’t have to pretend. God already sees. He already knows. And He already loves you completely.

Today, we all have the opportunity to begin again, not with a performance, but with a confession. We have the chance to be honest with God and honest with someone we trust. Perhaps we can open up to those in our Christ Centered Friendship Groups if we are in one. Maybe to a recovery group. Or possibly just to a trusted confidant. We might all be surprised to discover how freeing it is to finally let down our guard.

And who knows? Our honesty might be the very thing that gives someone else permission to take off their mask too.

So, going forward, we can disregard the park service’s advisory for bear encounters. We no longer need to wear a mask of false bravado or keep up a smile to hide our tears. When it comes to guiding our everyday encounters, we simply need to trust God! ……… Do we?

Heavenly Father, why oh why do I feel the need to hide my feelings when I know that you know me better than I know myself and you never stop loving me. Give me the courage to be sincere, honest, and transparent with those who are closest to me in life. Help me to be willing to boast of my weakness, not to bring attention to my weakness, but rather, to bring glory to Your Son Jesus Christ who saves me from myself. Amen!

AMDG 

 I always love to hear from you. You can email me by clicking here.

Please take a moment to share your thoughts about today’s message below.

AMDG 

_____________________________________

An important announcement. My book Blessed Broken & Scared : Becoming Eucharist for a Starving World is now available by audio book. Click here for more information.

__________________________________

 I always love to hear from you. You can email me by clicking here.

Please take a moment to share your thoughts about today’s message below.

• Author
• Recent Posts

Brian Pusateri

Brian is a Christian author and speaker. Brian, a lifelong Catholic, felt his life was forever changed when God spoke to his heart while attending an eight day silent Christian retreat in November of 2011. Soon after that retreat Brian founded 4th Day Letters and Broken Door Ministries. With the God inspired message of mercy and unconditional love that was placed on his heart during that retreat, Brian has been impacting others all over the country and around the world with his weekly letters, his talks, and his all day Christian retreats. In June of 2014, Brian’s life was again impacted in a very dramatic way when his eyesight suddenly became permanently impaired. The initial diagnosis was Multiple Scleroses (MS) but in December of 2019 the diagnosis was corrected to MOG antibody disease, a rare neurological disease. This health challenge has only served to draw Brian closer to God and bolster the importance of this timely yet ageless message.

Latest posts by Brian Pusateri (see all)

• Small Things Matter - September 21, 2025
• We Are A Candle In The Wind - September 14, 2025
• A Painful Cavity or a Beautiful Smile - September 8, 2025