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Anyone who has ever begged God for forgiveness only to repeat that same sin again, knows the cycle of sin all too well. We sin, repent, and sin again. The cycle can be exhausting. Today we will explore a holistic and scripturally based approach to overcoming this cycle. You won’t want to miss this important message.
Sin is fundamentally an offense against God. It damages our relationship with Him and with the Church. Therefore, repentance is a vital component for the forgiveness of sins. Repentance reflects a genuine desire to return to God. The act of repentance involves a sincere sorrow for sins and the intention to avoid sin in the future. In a perfect world, repentance should be followed by a changed life. However, God’s mercy and forgiveness do not automatically resolve our underlying issue of recurring sinfulness. As a result, we often repeat our sins after repenting from them. It’s true, repentance, followed by God’s mercy and forgiveness are vital and essential, but if we truly desire to break the grip of sin and it’s repetitive cycle, there is one additional vital ingredient.
Before going too far, we must first acknowledge what is behind the cycle of recurring sinfulness. The inclination to sin is deeply rooted in human nature. The fallen nature of man is such that all people struggle to break free from the grip of sin. We must also realize that sin thrives in darkness. For those whose recurring sins have reached the level of an addiction, there are spiritual, physical, physiological, neurological and psychological factors at play. Addictions are complex. In this article I will primarily be addressing the spiritual and psychological aspects of recurring sins.
1 John 1:9 states, “If we acknowledge our sins, he (God) is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from every wrongdoing.” Notice here we go to God for forgiveness.
Juxtaposition going to God for forgiveness, to the message contained in James 5:18 which states, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The fervent prayer of a righteous person is very powerful.” This verse tells us to go to our Christian brothers and sisters to be healed. Working in tandem these two verses teach us a powerful message.
Let me offer a word of caution. Before telling someone about our inner most hidden secrets and brokenness, we should first turn to God in prayer and ask Him to lead us to a safe person and/or a trusted confidant to open up to. The Bible tells us that only one in a thousand friends is our trusted confidant. It is wise to gain our trusted friends through testing. We should not be quick to trust everyone. With this word of caution out of the way, let’s continue.
When it comes to confessing our sins, Catholic and non-Catholics approach God for forgiveness differently. Catholics utilize the Sacrament of Reconciliation, by confessing their sins to the priest, who is sitting in “persona Christi (the theological concept that a priest, when performing sacraments, acts as a representative of Christ, essentially acting “in Christ’s place” to administer grace to the faithful).” Non-Catholics confess their sins directly to God in the quiet of their heart. In one case the priest is sworn to secrecy and in the other, the confession is done in the quiet of one’s mind. In both cases the sin remains secret and hidden. In other words, the sin is still within the wall of shame of the penitent.
If the repetitive cycle of sin is to be broken more is needed. Honesty, openness, and vulnerability are essential for personal growth and healing. This is well-supported in psychological, social, and yes, spiritual contexts.
Shame thrives in secrecy. When a person confides their struggles or behaviors in a private therapy session or in the case of faith, to a priest, or in the quiet of their mind, without extending vulnerability to trusted others, they may unintentionally reinforce feelings of isolation and self-judgment. Sharing with someone beyond the priest, therapist, or the quiet of your mind, such as to a trusted friend, family member, or support group—helps dismantle this isolation and allows for external perspectives that can challenge distorted self-perceptions.
Opening up to others provides an opportunity for accountability and external validation. When a trusted confidant responds with understanding, compassion, or even constructive feedback, it can reduce the emotional weight of the issue and inspire positive behavioral changes.
Speaking openly about one’s issues to others is an act of ownership and courage. This openness shifts the narrative from one of concealment to one of empowerment, reinforcing the individual’s capacity for change and growth. Research supports the idea that honesty and vulnerability, particularly when shared beyond the confidential relationship with a priest or psychologist, can foster healing and positive behavior change.
Vulnerability is crucial for emotional growth. Being open about personal struggles and shameful experiences allows individuals to form deeper emotional connections, build trust, and receive empathy from others. This openness reduces the isolation that shame often creates and fosters self-acceptance, which can be transformative for personal growth and behavioral changes.
Dr. Brené Brown, a leading researcher in vulnerability and shame, emphasizes that sharing our vulnerabilities helps to combat shame, which thrives in secrecy. From a behavior-change perspective, engaging with others and receiving feedback creates external accountability and can enhance motivation. This aligns with psychological theories suggesting that change is more sustainable when supported by interpersonal connections and shared goals
For Catholics confessing to a priest provides a safe starting point. The same is true when a non-Catholic confesses their sins to God. From a purely secular standpoint, telling a psychologist about your struggles is also a good starting point. However, sharing with trusted individuals outside of the confessional or other confidential therapeutic settings can amplify the benefits, break the cycle of shame, break the pattern of recurring sin, and promote lasting change.
The interplay between the aforementioned Bible passages suggests that while the confession to God is foundational for grace and forgiveness, the process of healing and transformation often requires openness and honesty with others. In both cases God is the one doing the forgiving and healing. In the forgiveness He is acting directly, in the healing process, God is manifesting Himself in, and through, our trusted friends.
Jesus sent His disciples out in twos. In Matthew 18:20 He told us, “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” Ecclesiastes tells us a three-ply cord is not easily broken. God designed us for community. Open sharing with others helps to break the cycle of sin by allowing individuals to confront their behaviors in a safe space, receive encouragement, and cultivate a sense of community that supports their journey toward change.
In conclusion, the combination of divine forgiveness and human accountability creates a holistic approach to overcoming sin. The grace received through repenting to God is complemented by the healing power of authentic relationships, which together empower us to change our behaviors and grow in faith.
This holistic approach to healing lies at the heart of the mission of Broken Door Ministries. Through this ministry I have encountered hundreds of people who have harbored their wounds and brokenness alone in secrecy for decades. Thankfully, many of them have opened up to me and shared those secrets. For them, that was a start to their healing. I have personally experienced the pain of carrying my brokenness alone. Thankfully God intervened and I was able to bring those issues to the light. I don’t want to see anyone else repeat my mistake. If you are struggling with recurring sin, and most people are, today’s message was written for you.
Heavenly Father, guide me to a trusted confidant, and give me the courage to share my inner most struggles with truth and honesty. With their caring response, and the mercy of your Son, I can begin to find healing and the freedom from the bondage of sin that you desire me to have. Amen!
Important Note
I realize today’s message was longer than normal. This topic was too important to truncate. Shorter messages will return next week.
AMDG
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Please take a moment to share your thoughts about today’s message below.
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Hey Brian, Excellent reflection…you NEVER should apologize for being “long-winded.” You obviously had the Holy Spirit “on your shoulder” as you wrote the words.
Brian,
Thank you for sharing your wisdom on this important topic. You have been that one in a thousand for me for many years and I have always treasured our friendship. I have recently been going to spiritual direction with one of our deacons to help me in my journey and it has been very helpful.
May our Lord continue to bless your ministry and the healing that you bring to so many.