Have you ever contemplated just how little control we really have over life? Over the last couple of weeks, Betsy and I have kept you informed about my current medical situation. Last week my vision took a major turn for the worse, and since Wednesday I am no longer able to see. I have no vision in my right eye and only very limited ability to detect light in my left eye. This complete loss of vision is clearly life changing and dramatically alters the way that I can compose these 4th Day Letters.

Since these letters have been coming out on Tuesdays since inception, it makes me immediately think about Mitch Albom’s famous book, Tuesdays with Morrie. That being said, it is not my intent for these to become a weekly update on my medical issues. My continued effort is for these letters to be used as inspiration in conjunction with your other prayers and meditations to bring each of us one step closer in our relationship with God.My goal is not so much to focus on me but perhaps over the next few weeks as I walk a new path in life, I can find ways to connect my experiences to an inspirational message.

Back to my point about how little control we actually have, I seem to need help with the simplest things in life. My wife has to set out my clothes for me and assist me in knowing the front from the back of things. I need assistance with putting tooth paste on my tooth brush, and various other mundane things in life that you take forgranted of until you all of the sudden can’t do it. This morning, when I was thinking about my current inability to rely on myself, I was struck by the words in one of my favorite Christian songs by Phillips, Craig and Dean called “A Place Called Grace.”

So many days I’ve trusted grace

Yet I have to wonder

How many times my human strength

Has kept me from surrender

The more I learn just to lean on the cross

The more I see

I have no way of knowing at this juncture in the medical diagnosis process whether or not I will regain my ability to see, but for now, just like the words in the song say, I realize that all of us trust too much in our own abilities, often so much so that it interferes with God’s grace. I am moved deeply by the thought that in order to see clearly I only have to lean on the cross. I really do believe there is a place called grace.

I know there is a place

Where arms of compassion welcome me home

Sweet mercy falls like rain

I know there’s a place called grace

If there is one thing that I have learned from these last few weeks is that life can take a sudden and dramatic turn in a direction that we never anticipated. At a time when our physical health fails us, we have only one rock to hold onto. The song says it this way:

If it seems that my courage is strong

There’s just one reason

He’s my rock when my faith is all gone

He holds me in His arms

Gives me strength to carry on

Ironically it was only last week that I wrote about Jesus Christ being the safety bar in the roller coaster of life and currently with my inability to see, he is the only thing I have to hold onto. He is my strength to carry on. My dear friends, can I encourage you to click this link and listen to this beautiful song and when you find yourself at a difficult moment in life, you too can find your place called grace.

Brian Pusateri
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